So far, most of the stuff I want to add to the Forties Bucket List is stuff I need to get done for Christmas, and that isn't all that exciting. I think a Bucket List should be exciting - like a bunch of unattainable goals to shoot for - like bagging a wild tiger or having your best friend's husband hit on you. Since I doubt I will check either of those things off anytime soon, that kind of Bucket List starts to feel like a Failure List to me, and I already have one of those in my head.
My ideal Forties Bucket List (just the Forties decade) would be one I could check everything off on... so why not do the list in retrospect? How accomplished I could feel!
MY √'D OFF FORTIES BUCKET LIST:
(not in any particular order)
√ Pregnancy test at 49 years of age. Negative - thank God.
√ Pretend heart attack = comfortable, child-free, overnight stay in ER
√ Adopt a child at 40. Adopt another one at 45. Adopt an attitude: "no new child comes here again".
√ Stop drinking alcohol. You're not in college anymore.
√ Nominate your 8 year old to be Grand Marshal in the Grand Floral Parade, and then watch her sit and wave in the rain for four hours and be really happy for her.
√ Teach a child with Downs Syndrome to read and write. Love you, Miss Megan!
√ Lose/Gain over 500 pounds in ten years.
√ Go to Paris, Vienna, and my parents house.
√ Write comedy, stand on stage, tell it into a microphone in front of people.
√ Teach a teenager to drive.
√ Potty train two children... one successfully.
√ Make a dog as crazy as I am... then hate the dog for being crazy.
√ Be a Clown named "Woo Hoo" in the Rose Festival Grand Floral Parade.
√ Shamelessly solicit friends to come to comedy events and pay to hear you say things that you say in carpool line anyway.
√ Stay married for 20 years
√ Bring a dog home while the family's away and name it for your Mother.
√ Walk with two beautiful women as they die of brain cancer. RIP Heidi & Francesca.
√ Fly off a 18 foot sand dune cliff, even though you watched a video telling you how to avoid doing so, and have your teen son scoop you up. Be too embarrassed to call an ambulance, and ride the damn thing back to the rental place. See various doctors for 3 years trying to fix the pain. PRICELESS.
√ Rent a theater so your budding filmmaker son can showcase his videos to his friends on his 13th birthday.
√ Write a Women's Retreat, and lead retreats at your church for a few years, because they can't pry the microphone out of your hands.
√ Lose a toddler on a Hawaiian beach. Pretend to try hard to find him.
√ Spend a week in one hotel room with two teens, two small kids, and your husband... and LOVE it!
√ Slow down and watch the sunset over Gabriel Park EVERY TIME you see it...
√ Keep the magic of Christmas alive for your children... even the big kids.
√ Paint murals on my kids walls.
√ Keep caught up on family photos in albums. Can you say OCD?
√ Hear God's voice. See miracles. Embrace them.
√ Dress up as my son on Halloween to scare his old middle school teachers.
√ Fight with God. Lose.
√ Create an extended non-related family. Collect sisters. Boss them around like you're related.
√ Move a household.
√ Get burglarized.
√ Try contacts for my eyes. Hate them. Give up.
√ Go on a cruise with in-laws. Push no one overboard - including myself.
√ Meet interesting people.
√ Get hit/run by a drunk driver - then get accused of being the hit/runner by the drunk to the police.
√ Honor April Fools Day.